What is good hair?
October 13, 2009
Chris Rock’s upcoming movie, Good Hair, has caused a public debate of a concept that has been discussed within the African American community for generations. My friends outside of the community are surprised at the expense that African American women go through to manage their hair–particularly to straighten and lengthen their hair. Each time a star such as Beyonce or Serena Williams come out with a new look, the debates resurface. I am asking friends to share their hair stories.
See my initial story The Scalp Burning Hair Burning Ritual.
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Lessons from an 80's Alumna 
He has appeared on a couple of news shows in Atlanta, so it’s interesting to watch the story unfold. I actually want to see the film just so that I can see if I can relate to the hair stories of other black women.
When I decided to embrace my natural hair in Sept 2008, I never knew the journey would be so tough. As a young professional at a conservative institution, I wasn’t comfortable wearing my ‘natural’ hair in the workplace. So, I went to great and expensive lengths to cover it up. Between styles, I had an ‘unrelaxed’ appearance or two and I have to admit that the responses were exactly what I expected. Suprisingly, even my closest workplace friends wouldn’t comment on the ‘unrelaxed’ hair. However, on the flip side, when I came in with the ‘purchased extentions’, the compliments overflowed…interesting…
Now that I’m in a new city that’s more accepting of varying cultures and hair types, wearing my ‘natural’ hair doesn’t bother me as much. Yet, when I cross the stateline to visit my family in my previous hometown, my confidence diminishes and I revert back to great and expensive lengths to cover it again….
I’m looking forward to the film…I hope it reveals ‘why’ these women do what they do…
I’m looking forward to seeing the movie. I have a relaxer, have had one since I was maybe 9 or 10. (I wore braids or mom used a pressing comb before then.) My mom and dad never really used the words “good hair” – Mom just wanted to help us look our best using what we’ve got. I work in media (most of my career was spent in TV), so I do feel pressure to “fit in”… I don’t think going natural would have been well accepted, and that concern still lingers. I think my worst experience was with my (now former!) in-laws, who were of Arab descent from North Africa… I once wanted to get twists and my in-laws commented that it was “too black.” Their stereotypes of black Americans really disgusted me, frankly.
Thanks for your comment Alissa. The issues are so much deeper than style and preference.
P.S. – love your new blog design!
Let me first start off by saying I cannot wait to see this documentary.
July 2008, I went through with the big chop. I can honestly say if there are 200 hairstyles I’ve had 100 of them. I wasn’t scared because I had worn my hair relaxed and short. I also saw hair as an accessory to who I am. Of course before going through with this decision I seeked opinions from close friends to see how they felt about my new decision. Some were for it and some were against it. I had some friends to say, “I love your short straight hair on you. It compliments you most” I’ve had some friends say, “I can see you with natural hair, it suits your personality. I’ve even had some friends say, “Why would you do that to yourself. Why would you want to walk around with a nappy head? You are just confused.” I went through with it anyway. Having natural hair has taught me a lot about myself. Going natural was definitely not an easy transition. There were so many times I considered going to the nearest beauty supply store to buy a relaxer. That was taking the easy way out. Being natural has given me patience and a deeper appreciation for who I am. To me my natural hair represents a flower/butterfly. It is something that is not going to be instantly the way you want it. It takes nurture and research and patience.
I remember being a little girl and praying to God for long silky hair so that I can beautiful. As little girls beauty is defined by everything around us. Look the girls on TV to our Barbie dolls. Even the dark-skinned Kenya dolls had long flowy hair. I think my first relaxer was at the age of 6. It was a PCJ. I used to ask my mom how come my hair didn’t look like the girls on the box. I was a little girl filled with insecurities way before boys came into the picture. That is sad. I believed my beauty was defined by my hair and because my hair wasn’t pretty; I did not feel pretty. Chris Rock and Nia Long made an appearance on The Monique Show promoting the book Good Hair. He said in the documentary, Al Shartpon made a comment about how can we as Black people control our life if we can’t control our head. I think he makes a very valid argument. As a woman with natural hair, I am not against women who choose to relax their hair. I am against women you are uneducated about relaxers and women you are defined by them. I am against women who fall into the stereotypes of the “accepted hair/safe hair/the white girl flow/silky”
I can go on and on about this subject but I will give someone else a turn.
Thanks Tee. I know that it has been challenging for you and some people around you who aren’t ready for the natural you.
Hi,
I want to see the movie, it should be fun to hear what other people think about good hair vs bad hair. Growing up in the south I had thick wavey hair that I wore bradid. I did not start geting it straighten until I was about 10 yrs. old. When people told me I had good hair I did not counsider my hair good. I called it to good to be bad and to bad to be good. Later I put relaxers in my hair once a year.
In the 60’s I cutt my long hair and wore a natural some times then straight some times. As a Senior I wear it straight wash and set. I get a relaxer once a year. I love my wavy curley hair. The relaxer protect my hair from frezzing up in humity and rain. I have come to realize we all have good hair of many texters. I see many people of other races in Call’y that ware their hair just like black people. GO HAIR!!!!!!!
Judith
64 yr. old senior
Thanks Auntie. Your hair is beautiful and so are you.
I’m looking forward to seeing the movie; I’m sure it will be interesting and entertaining.
My Story….After years of having my hair permed and several hair styles from medium to shoulder length styles, in April 2003, I just didn’t get a perm when it was time for a retouch. I decided I would cut my hair off from whatever new growth I had and wear it short. I went to a salon and asked the stylist to cut my chin length hair to the new growth. The stylist was very hesitant to cut my hair off so short but I told her that I wanted my hair to match my new found desire for healthy hair, low maintenance and a natural look. The length of my hair was more of a concern for the stylist than me, but I immediately loved my 1” fro. I did shock my dear friend by showing up to the rehearsal dinner with my new fro.
Now I must admit that when I went natural, my employer (Caucasian) was shocked and often commented on my short hair but I don’t hear as many comments now which may be due to the number of professional women who embrace a variety of natural, permed and weaved styles. Interestingly enough, many of the comments I have now are from people who look like me asking, “how do you comb your hair; do you miss the perm? My response, my hair is easy to a comb with some water and conditioner, and I do not want another perm and spend hours in a salon and put my hair and scalp through the harsh chemical process.
I love being able to wash and go and not think about my hair frizzing in humidity or dealing with the hassles of a perm. Because my natural hair is so much healthier, it grows fast so I can wear a variety of long and short natural hair styles.
I remember having lunch with you and your new found freedom. I LOVE your hair. Thanks for sharing.
Just thought about one of your comments. I am not sure which organization your were working for at the, but if it is the one I am thinking of, a very prominent AA leader had a short natural. I would imagine they never had the opportunity to ask her about her hair.