The Summer Scalp Burning Hair Burning Ritual
When I visited the grandmothers in Alabama and Chicago, I always had to go through the grueling process of getting a relaxer. My mom said it was because of the weather. I could tolerate the occasional straightening comb haze when we had a special occasion, but I hated getting a relaxer. My mom said it was because of the summer humidity in Chi-town and Birmingham. I knew better. It was because her family would judge her as a bad mother if she allowed me to run around with my hair nappy.
This seemed to become a family project when I moved to Birmingham. Each great aunt attempted to control the naps whether through their own devices or their latest hair dresser. However, no perm, even today could every completely straighten my hair. Every hairdresser swore that my relaxers were not put in properly. Even after a year long commitment with one, the curls would reappear after the first washing. Sorry Charlie.
Up to the ’90’s, one of my cousins just threw up her hands and said, “Bettina just never cared anything about hair.” Thank God. The torture was finally over.
Lessons from an 80's Alumna 
I am not judging my friends who straighten their hair. I think we should have choices. However, most of us have agonized in some way form or fashion over our hair. Straightening just isn’t for me.
I’ve been in more than one discussion / panel / forum where African American women were talking about their hair. I appreciate your disclaimer in the response. I really don’t think African American women need to beat themselves up as to whether they alter their hair or not. (What is natural? Lye is a naturally existing compound.) White women have their weekly beauty rituals too, and they alter their hair as well. In fact, it occurs to me that African American women have an advantage in that they have many more things that they can do with their “natural” styles and they often look sophisticated or more so exotic in what they can do, but white women usually look quite “plain” when they don’t alter theirs in some way. Just a thought or two. I’d be curious if someone posts a new perspective on here.
Interesting perspective as usual G. I didn’t think of Lye as natural. I think a panel discussion among women in general and the need to alter their appearance would be enlightening.
Bettina