Serena Williams
A friend requested that I post something about Serena Williams. Her swimsuit malfunction and recent fine are hitting the news. Like golf, my father followed and played tennis when I was growing up. I mentioned in a previous post that my brother and I used to convince kids that he was Arthur Ash when we lived across the street from the base tennis courts.
So like Tiger, the Williams sisters are part of our regular conversation. Many people at the time were commenting that the sisters needed to focus on tennis rather than other pursuits. When you are kicking everyone’s butts, I would imagine it could be boring. One must find other pursuits.
I thought it was fascinating that their father had never played tennis, but raised two champions several times over. They were urbanites who dominated the tennis world and changed it with their power and style. They were always graceful and positive. Even when mistreated, they kept their heads up high.
So when one has been completely dominate, played by the rules, ignored all the comments, glances and silent treatment in the locker rooms, is she free to lose control? Did Serena lose control? Is her fine severe? On top of that, she had a wardrobe malfunction. Will this incident hurt her image?
Check out this interview with Serena.
Lessons from an 80's Alumna 
Oh Bettina, thank you so much for this opportunity….I was just about to have a malfunction of the brain waiting to comment on this topic.
The Williams sisters! Well what can be said about them but YEAH!!! YEAH!!! now that’s what I’m talking about. It was almost 9 years ago and I was literally fighting for my life, and the life of my now almost 9 year old daughter laying in a hospital bed, where doctors were trying to keep me alive, while at the same time telling me to get my affairs in order. I had three infectious disease doctors, 9 OB-GYN doctors (the entire practice), the largest room on the maternity ward, chemotherapy medicine running through my veins, and the Williams sisters, playing the court like you have never seen urbanites hit the ball before. (And this time the game was TENNIS…the road less traveled)
There power gave me power, and watching the intensity of the tournament literally and figuratively kept me fighting. My doctors, most of whom were white, spent countless hours by my bedside, watching the games, bringing me the magazines and keeping me updated. If appreciated them as family not because of the measures they were taking to save my life but because we were having honest conversations about race and tennis. I mean if these young girls could go through what they did, excel in a sport where faces of color didn’t reign except for a small few, I was sure going to live long enough to see them kick some butt on the court. WHEW!!!! I just had to get that out, now back to regularly scheduled programming.
The isolation of the tennis world for these two black beauties was obvious but not unexpected, they never gave you anything but heritage in their hair, pride in their stance, expertise in the game and professionalism when they addressed a media that was more than curious because “black kids” CAN’T play tennis like that. White mainstream liberal America, gave them the “how dare you think you are even close to being as good as our princesses” and the ever underlying “whose ya daddy?” comments never missed the gut. Although the arena engaged them on a national spectrum, America athletes have been seen by the world as over indulged, arrogant and self-righteous, and with the likes of “colored” skin people bringing game to the game of tennis rarely seen and let alone with this type of skill. So there’s an added punch!
Did Serena lose control? I don’t know if she lost control as much as she may have just had her fill of being the best, giving her all, and once again placing the made in America stamp on the game. All the while, almost a decade later, still not getting the respect she and her sister deserve. Was she mad, absolutely! She was sick and tired of being sick and tired, so for some that may just be losing control. But when you’ve been backed in a corner enough times and ducked, dodged and said okay let me reason with you, one of those times your are apt to come out swinging and this was her time.
Now after saying all of that. I don’t necessarily agree with what she said, however since I’ve been there before, I can understand why she finally “expressed” her. I think her fine is severe, over the top and once again she is being controlled with the one thing that is used continously to control black America and that’s money! Take it away Bob, give them high profiled media attention when “they” act like we know “they” really are, and always attach the comment “I think this is going to hurt their career tremendously, going forward” and the other good one “their have been rumors in the past of this type of behavior”.
And what’s your point, if you want to blame it on something and give it a name, let’s call it PTSDB (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for being Black)!! She lost control! Okay there it is, but give me a break with the excessive fine syndrome, a reasonable fine yes, sit her on a couch, give her some counseling and explain to her why nice women like her shouldn’t have a dirty mouth because children are watching and of course they have never been exposed to this type of behavior. (ha ha ha) As you call her ever name in the book while your children sit and soak it up. And the urbanite kids, okay this is your first lesson on how not to handle yourself in public, even though you are the best of the best but you are never good enough. You can go from being an ICON to JUST BLACK in 60 seconds and forget all of the good you have done, and how you have shown you can do so much more. You are more than just being an athlete you can even bring your A game to the business arena, and build an empire.
Because when it comes down to it the “green” speaks! Control the money, control the image that you want to give them and of course even if it’s an isolated incident make sure that it sticks long and hard enough to control the first.
For those who didn’t like her, they already had a negative image of her and were just waiting for something to happen (and it did) for them to say SEE, SEE, we knew “those” people were going to act like that. For those who supported and respected her, some of them may be disappointed, there will be those who wished she would have continued to maintain that face that must be put on in your life to please others no matter how good you are. For others they will understand that she had her fill, she’s still an exceptional tennis player but most of all she is still a good person who will always be black first, a black woman second, a exceptional black tennis player third but a human being with shortcomings always.
By the way…some people may ask why my post focused a lot on race, and for clarity, because when you are black, you are always that first and whatever else is secondary, and to say otherwise is to MINIMIZE, BLAME and DENY what the reality of life truly is. This is not a broad stroke comment for all people of color, but if you have ever had an experience you know there’s a difference when you go from being black to living while black.
You are so right–not that being right was your goal. Glad you and your 9 year old are with us and feisty.
Hi Mdpusch,
I am honored that you commented on the blog.
Bettina
Wow Sunny. You were ready to unload. Thanks for you comments. Have you ever written to the Williams Sisters? I think they would be touched by your post. I am enjoying getting to know you and your story. Mothers sacrifice so much for their children. You almost sacrificed your life. You too are a hero to so many.
LOL, I did get a little over excited and then realized in my excited that I had some typos and used the wrong there/their etc…it will probably come back to haunt me later (smile) but this was somewhat personal because watching them helped me get through a time when I didn’t think I would. I was holding on to them for dear life. I haven’t met them but I think I will try and reach out to them and “express” myself… thanks again for the opportunity.
Sunny, that was incredible and well said. I agree with your take on why she went there finally, and think you shold send that to the sisters. Well stated.
I’m thinking about all of the comments before me. I went back and re-watched the video and found a transcript. So here is what Serena said: “I swear to God I’ll f****** take this ball and shove it down your f****** throat! Do you hear me? I swear to God. You better be glad–you better be f****** glad that I’m not, I swear.”
Wow. I have questions in my mind: What if someone said that to a co-worker? To an employee who reported to her? This was her workplace (the tennis courts) and the person to whom she said it was a small woman who was doing her job. Take the “celebrity” factor away and just think about this in a regular office environment. I watched the line judge’s reaction and she looked afraid.
Once mutual respect and mutual purpose are thrown out the window, anyone is hard to hear. Hearability, credibility and believability diminish when faced with a barrage of emotions laced with cursing.
I am not dealing with the monetary fine here, but wondering how it felt to endure the humiliation of being yelled at/threatened in front of millions of people. Verbal abuse is not acceptable and this line judge should not have had to pay the price for pent up frustration, no matter the source or the history.
By the way, I love Serena and I love her tennis. I did not love her behavior on this day. I don’t think she loved her behavior that day, either. We all screw up. I am confident she will never do this again. She is a class act.
Thanks for your perspective Sharon. I don’t think anyone disagrees with you. It definetly was inappropriate. I grew up watching John Mcenroe and he tirades. Serena and Venus have endured quite a bit. Many people relate to finally expressing anger after enduring all the isms that she has experienced.
Bettina, I’m glad we are having this “dialogue.” I love to talk about hard stuff.
We would probably both agree timing is everything. Not sure a small Asian woman would have been a good target to finally let the dam break. I realize that Serena was up to her eyeballs in frustration and she is a human being.
Speaking of McEnroe, he seemed to came off looking like a big baby and is definitely not an admired figure because of it. I think she is far superior to him and his tennis.
I definitely don’t want to judge her, because who among us hasn’t said something we would love to rewind? Tantrums just don’t work when you want to really be heard. What happens when people see tsunamis? They run. Same thing happens when people let it all out.
After years of teaching Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High, I have learned that it is better in a tough conversation to begin with facts first and then talk about the impact. You are much more likely to get what you want.
Serena is an amazing woman and I can’t wait to see what she is going to do next. She has so many defining moments and is going to add more.
Keep the conversation going!
Thanks Sharon. It is always great to have someone with your expertise in the conversation. In intercultural communication, we look at how different communities communicate. I wonder if some people see Serena’s mistreatment as a fact as well. Different communities view and see “facts” differently. I know you always think of me as a diversity expert, but the area I have been developing expertise and gaining certificates in is of intercultural communication. We look at value orientations that inform world views. Of course one can always slap the hand of the individual who is acting out, but what is the root cause? The issue extends beyond that one incident for the people who haven’t commented on the blog.
Things are getting busy at the end of the year so I don’t have much time, but I would love to explore more about your statement about a small Asian woman being her target. What would have been the right time to let the dam break and who would have been a better target?